yes i know i've decided to be more optimistic. im trying. seriously. just that its a bit hard when the reality is trying to prove you that all your efforts are futile.
no seriously, i'm pissed!
as expected, my bike broke down again (that's like, 3 weeks after i had it fixed and new tire put in? what the heck? >_<; ). i walked to uni on friday and i can now tell you all with a 100% certainty: the picture of a pretty girl walking around in cute boots on high heals, with leaves falling around her head and her face brightened up with a shiny smile... well, just imagine some kind of commercial, you'll know what i mean. well, IT'S A LIE!
my feet still hurt. no im not kidding. no more boots for awhile.
and although i try to avoid calling the whole human race a bunch of idiots (that's Arek's job, not mine): everyone who claims that students life is soo awesome... is an idiot!
i want to move out of my studentshouse. no, dun get me wrong, i like my housemates (except Niels, i kind of hate him ^.^ that arrogant rich bastard never does his cleaning duity and quite often wakes me up in the mornings. wish he'd hurry up and graduate). but what kind of life is this? :/
as most of you will know, my house does NOT have a washing machine. so we are forced to use a camping-like thingy that is semi-automatic and does NOT wash your clothes. it just creates the impression that your clothes have become marginally cleaner. and you have to wring out all your clothes by yourself afterwards (you can laugh now, but after 2 pairs of jeans, you wont laugh anymore!). so quite often you'll find water dripping off the clothes which were hung for drying (and take 3-4 days to dry -.-). i think this will eventually lead to rotten stairs, but i suppose the landlord either doesnt realize it or doesnt care?
landlords are not very smart, are they?
but that's not the main point. main point is that i've once again flooded the shower yesterday. it had like, 4cm of water in it! <3
the tube from the "washing-thingy" fell out of the machine and instead of flowing into the machine, the water was flowing onto the floor. that's just awesome. took a seriously long time to clean it all up. i was crying at the end.
and today i once again had to vacuum clean the kitchen. which is like... no seriously, WHY does vacuum cleaning a room of 7m^2 take 20 mins? cause it's so dirty? wrong! cause our vacuuum cleaner does NOT clean. like, anything that is larger than a microscopical dust particle is too large to be sucked into the cleaner.
i want a vacuum cleaner. that sucks up dust. that has bags inside it that actually fit. and that doesnt require you to recycle those bags (put them out and try to get all the dust from bag to trashbin, then discovering that half of the contents of the dust bag are on the floor again~).
why is it all too much asked? and that doesnt even cover everything that went wrong in past few days.
i mean i can remember the time that we didnt have any vacuum cleaner. that's true. but the thing about tragic past is that the present is supposed to be better.
so the optimism is strangely quickly lost when you start thinking "i just want to dieee...." and your bf calls you up and says "i love you and i'll make you happy" and the only reply you can think of is "resistance is futile. you shall be assimilated."
today's wisdom: reality is like a Borg. it's ugly, contains too much technology you cant deal with anyways and from logical point of view, resistance is indeed futile.
Categories
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Doom di Doom di~.... erm.. I mean, the suuun is shiiining~
in another attempt to finally reduce the amount of to-read material in my room, i've stumbled upon a half-read volume of the dutch journal for highly educated people (free for students in their final year! <3) called Intermediair. for those interested in more details than shall be reveiled in this post due to my general lack of time and disire to excerise effort for something that im not even getting paid for (and while i should be reading a very boring paper on nonfinancial performance measures), please refer to Intermediair of 26th February 2009.
yes, i've started reading that issue somewhere around that time and then forgot about it :/
so desided to hurry up and finish it so that it can end up in my special trashcan for paper-only!
and guess what, it says that optimistic people:
- live longer
- live healthier
- live happier
- have longer lasting relationships (good thing?)
- have less bad stuff happening to them
- have more awesome stuff happening to them too! (mew wants too! share!)
- tend to be american (<- it prolly didnt say it like this... but misrepresentation of information is so much fun!)
and that measured over a period of 10 years o_o~ go science! use that research money for something usefull!
the scientiests are still unsure about the cause of the previously described effects of optimism. currently, 3 theories rule the scuientific world and cause some snowball fights and backstabbing to keep the otherwise boring research interesting:
1. optimism is a weapon against stress. stress is bad for you. stress is very bad for your heart. things that are bad for your heart cause heartfailure. heartfailure causes death. usually, that pretty much ruins your day.
2. optimistic people enjoy a healthier livestyle and take a better care of themselves, because they believe that their lives depends on them, instead of such silly excuses as "destiny" and "God's will".
3. people who are healthy are naturally more optimistic about life (damn bastards!) <- this is the opinion of pessimistic scientists.
to add to the jealoursy of the more pessimistic people (like me! <3), optimists are better at studying and achieve far more in life than pessimists do. in fact, pessimistic attitude in life basically dooms you to be a loser for the rest of your life. on the bright side, you dont live as long as optimists do anyways! isnt that just awesome?
well, according to various research, the main reason why optimists achieve more in life and are in general happier is because when facing diffeculties, they dont give up.
yes its a simple as that. imagine yourself taking a very diffecult math exam (maybe not the best example, but i'll be forgiven, right? :3).
a pessimist will think "this is too diffecult. im just too dumb for this", give up and subsequently will fail the exam.
an optimist at the other hand, will keep believing in own awesomness and instead will feel challenged. he'll put even more effort into solving all problems at the exam. afterall, he's smart, just a bit more effort and that exam is in his pocket! and yes, that will turn out to be the case as well. and success will only increase his high self-esteem, which will enable him to complete increasingly more diffecult tasks.
optimists are perfect example of self-fullfilling profecy. because they believe that they will succeed, they try harder and succeed. they make things happen, instead of watching the world from the sidelines like the pessimists do. and because they know that they can control their own lives and futures, they have more energy which in turn enables them to achieve everything they want.
the circle goes round and round.
the world spins around
and the optimist never bows to the ground
hey, i never claimed to be a poet! xD
even the goals in life are different between pessimists and optimists. the pessimists focus on who they want to BE. optimists, on the other hand, are quite satiesfied with who they are and know that if something is lacking, then it's simply because they havent learned how to do it yet. so they define their goals in terms of what they want to DO.
for me, it makes sense. focusing on own imperfections drains my energy and gives me the feeling that things will never be allright again. even my past achievements seem just like an accident. in contrast, focusing on what is possible and on the progress that im making... well, just thinking about it brings a shy smile on my face. so many interesting things that i still want to do! so much that i still want to learn!
but well, i've always considered myself a pessimistic person. mainly due to the fact that i think that the words of Mark Twain apply to me: "who is a pessimist before reaching 48 years of age knows too much, who's an optimist after reaching that age knows too little". i've been disappointed many times. therefore, i take a very defensive position in life and prepare myself for the worst case possible. then when that worst case possible becomes reality, it doesnt hurt so much. all i have to do is say "i always knew it'd turn out this way" and move on. unfortunatelly, this does not always work in my benefit.
so, is there a way to become more optimistic? the article in the journal says "YES, you can!". the main problem with pessimists is that they tend to think "told you, you are too stupid/ ugly / weak / horrible for this". i mean, i quite often catch myself thinking "omg, im sooo dumb!" and "gawd, this is all that i did today? im either incredibly stupid or incredibly lazy! prolly both!" and even "i shouldnt be buying clothes like these... they'd look emberassingon an ugly person like me."
and that while if anyone would tell me that im ugly i'd go all like "O_o?!? mew?" (im a russian female! its impossible for me to be ugly! russian girls are hawt by definition! O_o) or if anyone would even dare to suggest that im dumb, i'd look at him as if he was out of his mind. (ok, maybe compared to a lot of uni students im dumb, but im still an uni student, which makes me pretty smart, okay?).
so, if i dont accept comments like that from random people, why in the world do i accept them from myself? D: and heck, why do you? that's what makes at least me so insecure! and its stupid and silly on its own.
so want to be an optimist? then stop bringing yourself down. that's what you got other people (especially parents and teachers) for! ^__^~
and life is wayy too short to have regrets at the end of it anyways. so with that having been said, time to buy some more silly clothes as soon as i'll be able to afford them again xD
yes, i've started reading that issue somewhere around that time and then forgot about it :/
so desided to hurry up and finish it so that it can end up in my special trashcan for paper-only!
and guess what, it says that optimistic people:
- live longer
- live healthier
- live happier
- have longer lasting relationships (good thing?)
- have less bad stuff happening to them
- have more awesome stuff happening to them too! (mew wants too! share!)
- tend to be american (<- it prolly didnt say it like this... but misrepresentation of information is so much fun!)
and that measured over a period of 10 years o_o~ go science! use that research money for something usefull!
the scientiests are still unsure about the cause of the previously described effects of optimism. currently, 3 theories rule the scuientific world and cause some snowball fights and backstabbing to keep the otherwise boring research interesting:
1. optimism is a weapon against stress. stress is bad for you. stress is very bad for your heart. things that are bad for your heart cause heartfailure. heartfailure causes death. usually, that pretty much ruins your day.
2. optimistic people enjoy a healthier livestyle and take a better care of themselves, because they believe that their lives depends on them, instead of such silly excuses as "destiny" and "God's will".
3. people who are healthy are naturally more optimistic about life (damn bastards!) <- this is the opinion of pessimistic scientists.
to add to the jealoursy of the more pessimistic people (like me! <3), optimists are better at studying and achieve far more in life than pessimists do. in fact, pessimistic attitude in life basically dooms you to be a loser for the rest of your life. on the bright side, you dont live as long as optimists do anyways! isnt that just awesome?
well, according to various research, the main reason why optimists achieve more in life and are in general happier is because when facing diffeculties, they dont give up.
yes its a simple as that. imagine yourself taking a very diffecult math exam (maybe not the best example, but i'll be forgiven, right? :3).
a pessimist will think "this is too diffecult. im just too dumb for this", give up and subsequently will fail the exam.
an optimist at the other hand, will keep believing in own awesomness and instead will feel challenged. he'll put even more effort into solving all problems at the exam. afterall, he's smart, just a bit more effort and that exam is in his pocket! and yes, that will turn out to be the case as well. and success will only increase his high self-esteem, which will enable him to complete increasingly more diffecult tasks.
optimists are perfect example of self-fullfilling profecy. because they believe that they will succeed, they try harder and succeed. they make things happen, instead of watching the world from the sidelines like the pessimists do. and because they know that they can control their own lives and futures, they have more energy which in turn enables them to achieve everything they want.
the circle goes round and round.
the world spins around
and the optimist never bows to the ground
hey, i never claimed to be a poet! xD
even the goals in life are different between pessimists and optimists. the pessimists focus on who they want to BE. optimists, on the other hand, are quite satiesfied with who they are and know that if something is lacking, then it's simply because they havent learned how to do it yet. so they define their goals in terms of what they want to DO.
for me, it makes sense. focusing on own imperfections drains my energy and gives me the feeling that things will never be allright again. even my past achievements seem just like an accident. in contrast, focusing on what is possible and on the progress that im making... well, just thinking about it brings a shy smile on my face. so many interesting things that i still want to do! so much that i still want to learn!
but well, i've always considered myself a pessimistic person. mainly due to the fact that i think that the words of Mark Twain apply to me: "who is a pessimist before reaching 48 years of age knows too much, who's an optimist after reaching that age knows too little". i've been disappointed many times. therefore, i take a very defensive position in life and prepare myself for the worst case possible. then when that worst case possible becomes reality, it doesnt hurt so much. all i have to do is say "i always knew it'd turn out this way" and move on. unfortunatelly, this does not always work in my benefit.
so, is there a way to become more optimistic? the article in the journal says "YES, you can!". the main problem with pessimists is that they tend to think "told you, you are too stupid/ ugly / weak / horrible for this". i mean, i quite often catch myself thinking "omg, im sooo dumb!" and "gawd, this is all that i did today? im either incredibly stupid or incredibly lazy! prolly both!" and even "i shouldnt be buying clothes like these... they'd look emberassingon an ugly person like me."
and that while if anyone would tell me that im ugly i'd go all like "O_o?!? mew?" (im a russian female! its impossible for me to be ugly! russian girls are hawt by definition! O_o) or if anyone would even dare to suggest that im dumb, i'd look at him as if he was out of his mind. (ok, maybe compared to a lot of uni students im dumb, but im still an uni student, which makes me pretty smart, okay?).
so, if i dont accept comments like that from random people, why in the world do i accept them from myself? D: and heck, why do you? that's what makes at least me so insecure! and its stupid and silly on its own.
so want to be an optimist? then stop bringing yourself down. that's what you got other people (especially parents and teachers) for! ^__^~
and life is wayy too short to have regrets at the end of it anyways. so with that having been said, time to buy some more silly clothes as soon as i'll be able to afford them again xD
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
In short about everything and nothing
yup, been over a week since the last update and the court pleads guilty!
not like i didnt have anything to write about either. more like the opposite has happened, my boring life has suddently become all interesting... OVERKILL!!! i even had to take a few days and play very (no seriously, very!) silly games and read a book on the meaning of life to re-charge my battaries and get back to my usual state of nerdiness. *phew* glad that's over!
so, in short about everything so far:
1. me and Dia have officially started dating since 27th of October (before that we just communicated to each other the intention to do so, but things like that just dont go well over msn, you know?). go us! o/
2. as expected, my grandma and Valentina (havent talked to Mitrofan yet) were not too enthousiastic. both for different reasons of course, but that was very insightfull. i mean, untill now i've always thought that i was the only ignorant and judgemental and bitchy and arrogant and whatever-not person. now it turns out that it's a cultural thing! doesnt that make a stone drop off your soul?
awesome thing, culture. <3
3. Quincy was very enthousiastic about me and Dia. and so was Zes. for some reason, those 2 are very alike. Zes had to smacked around to calm down too. too bad that midget lives somewhere in a random place, smacking him around in real life would have been more fun. Quincy looked like a very proud papa. kinda suits him.
4. bought a nintendo ds (and immediatelly ran out of money, lol!) to replace domo. yes, domo will be replaced. another thing that has happened between now and previous update: domo will be shut down. all our characters lost, since they wont bother transferring us to another gaming company. i only playes 4-7h per week latelly, but it's still a blow. kind of tempted to post about how you can make a company go bancrupt by ignoring your customers. exactly how GameTribe ignored us. well, their mother company has "suspended" all activities related to GT, so seems like they'll be liquidated.
5. to continue on #4, someone posted finincial statements of the mother company for GT and that's how we knew that servers are going to be shut down. never thought i'd start using financial statements myself outside of uni! want more free time so that i can study them closer. (cause tbh, i think im financial statements blind, lol xD)
6. thanks to mam for buying me a nintendo ds game! one of more stupid games that i could find, and i already finished it in less than 4 days, but it's quite fun to play since it kind of does not require any brain activity. good way to take a break between studying.
7. will be continued! oh and i got no i-net at home anymore, so it might take awhile! xD
8. w00t, i-net is back! but now i got no light in my room :/
*puppy eyes attack on Dia* ... help me fix it? >:3
9. already forgot what else has happened, so it was prolly not important enough to complain a lot about xD
not like i didnt have anything to write about either. more like the opposite has happened, my boring life has suddently become all interesting... OVERKILL!!! i even had to take a few days and play very (no seriously, very!) silly games and read a book on the meaning of life to re-charge my battaries and get back to my usual state of nerdiness. *phew* glad that's over!
so, in short about everything so far:
1. me and Dia have officially started dating since 27th of October (before that we just communicated to each other the intention to do so, but things like that just dont go well over msn, you know?). go us! o/
2. as expected, my grandma and Valentina (havent talked to Mitrofan yet) were not too enthousiastic. both for different reasons of course, but that was very insightfull. i mean, untill now i've always thought that i was the only ignorant and judgemental and bitchy and arrogant and whatever-not person. now it turns out that it's a cultural thing! doesnt that make a stone drop off your soul?
awesome thing, culture. <3
3. Quincy was very enthousiastic about me and Dia. and so was Zes. for some reason, those 2 are very alike. Zes had to smacked around to calm down too. too bad that midget lives somewhere in a random place, smacking him around in real life would have been more fun. Quincy looked like a very proud papa. kinda suits him.
4. bought a nintendo ds (and immediatelly ran out of money, lol!) to replace domo. yes, domo will be replaced. another thing that has happened between now and previous update: domo will be shut down. all our characters lost, since they wont bother transferring us to another gaming company. i only playes 4-7h per week latelly, but it's still a blow. kind of tempted to post about how you can make a company go bancrupt by ignoring your customers. exactly how GameTribe ignored us. well, their mother company has "suspended" all activities related to GT, so seems like they'll be liquidated.
5. to continue on #4, someone posted finincial statements of the mother company for GT and that's how we knew that servers are going to be shut down. never thought i'd start using financial statements myself outside of uni! want more free time so that i can study them closer. (cause tbh, i think im financial statements blind, lol xD)
6. thanks to mam for buying me a nintendo ds game! one of more stupid games that i could find, and i already finished it in less than 4 days, but it's quite fun to play since it kind of does not require any brain activity. good way to take a break between studying.
7. will be continued! oh and i got no i-net at home anymore, so it might take awhile! xD
8. w00t, i-net is back! but now i got no light in my room :/
*puppy eyes attack on Dia* ... help me fix it? >:3
9. already forgot what else has happened, so it was prolly not important enough to complain a lot about xD
Saturday, 24 October 2009
am i overreacting?
i've posted a pic Dia took of me when we went pooling together on CC's forum, but yeah, as expected, Zath photoshopped it. i guess it was foolish of me to expect another afro (that's what usually happends to all pics on CC forum), since his last creation was placing Tiggers face on a ww2 pic and adding an afro... but still.
i did not expect this:
Eis-chan asked Zath to "give her bigger boobs and remove the skirt!"
i dont know if im overreacting or not, since it's just boy's having fun. but im really offended by what they did. especially by Eis-chan, cause i thought he was my friend and that i could trust him.
atm, im really angry. and im wondering if i want to have friends like Eis-chan, because for me, this kind of action is really disrespectful. so am i overreacting?
Friday, 23 October 2009
Waisting Your Time (part 2)
for some reason, deciding that one of the classes was a waste of my time (but for some unknown reason, it prompted me to start drawning again after 4 years.. must be the opportunity: had nothing better to do) also made me think about my blog.
isnt reading my blog a waste of time for you?
i know that the people who generally read my blog are my good friends and read it because they want to know how im doing. but somehow, that doesnt seem to be satiesfactory answer to me. so what should i write about in my blog? what is it's purpose?
i suppose that i could write about the fact that i've got a boyfriend now.
O___o yes for real.
he's sweet and cute, but also a hell lot of trouble >_<; i hope it'll go well.
i guess i could write about the fact that my bike broke down. again! <.<;
i could write about KPMG's inhouse that i went to this week ^^~
i could write about things that are at least for me, really fun. like how Xuu needed to write a paper on the falisification theory of Karl Popper in relation with business studies and i suggested her to write about how the main assumption of the theory of economics, the "rational human" is simply metaphysics (and not science) according to that theory.
oh, i must say, it feels wonderfull to use theories to show that another theory fails. it's even more wonderfull to abuse theories to make your opinion seem like a truth. i've once already written an essay where i "proved" that american education is unethical with support of theories from John Rawls and John Stuart Mill. and got an 8.5 for it too. for 3 day's work. ah, so wonderfull!
i could write about my small victory over my fear yesterday.
i could write about how i put myself and not money first today.
yes, i could write about that i've learned to respect myself more. now im wondering, when will i learn how to properly prioritize? and understand other people enough to not to waiste their time?
isnt reading my blog a waste of time for you?
i know that the people who generally read my blog are my good friends and read it because they want to know how im doing. but somehow, that doesnt seem to be satiesfactory answer to me. so what should i write about in my blog? what is it's purpose?
i suppose that i could write about the fact that i've got a boyfriend now.
O___o yes for real.
he's sweet and cute, but also a hell lot of trouble >_<; i hope it'll go well.
i guess i could write about the fact that my bike broke down. again! <.<;
i could write about KPMG's inhouse that i went to this week ^^~
i could write about things that are at least for me, really fun. like how Xuu needed to write a paper on the falisification theory of Karl Popper in relation with business studies and i suggested her to write about how the main assumption of the theory of economics, the "rational human" is simply metaphysics (and not science) according to that theory.
oh, i must say, it feels wonderfull to use theories to show that another theory fails. it's even more wonderfull to abuse theories to make your opinion seem like a truth. i've once already written an essay where i "proved" that american education is unethical with support of theories from John Rawls and John Stuart Mill. and got an 8.5 for it too. for 3 day's work. ah, so wonderfull!
i could write about my small victory over my fear yesterday.
i could write about how i put myself and not money first today.
yes, i could write about that i've learned to respect myself more. now im wondering, when will i learn how to properly prioritize? and understand other people enough to not to waiste their time?
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